Watch Hellboy 2 and it's almost immediately apparent that it has been made with love, talent and respect by an artist - possibly a genius. The result is a great film that looks amazing.
There you go Hollywood. That’s all it takes – THAT’S ALL! So please, no more Hancocks. Or Van Helsings. Or Daredevils. Or My Super Ex-Girlfriends. Or League of Extraordinary Gentlemens. Or Van Helsings.
I realise I said Van Helsing twice there but I REALLY hate that fecking thing!
Hellboy 2 is great though. Why, I feel giddy with excitement having just watched it. I want to shout it from the roof-tops like the name of my first love! And, unlike my first love, I know that Hellboy 2 will never leave me for the school football captain and tell everyone I have a small penis.
Tell us about the film, pencil-dick! I hear you cry. Fair enough then. Hellboy 2 looks stunning. Jaw-droppingly stunning. The fights are bone-crunchingly spectacular. The humour – and there’s lots of it – is rib-ticklingly funny. The emotional scenes are eye-wateringly sad. Unfortunately, Luke Goss is mind-numbingly awful…
Only joking Luke! Actually, Luke’s fine. However, he’ll always be Luke from Bros to most of us British viewers of a certain age. So there you have it. Best movie of the year. Hellboy would beat The Dark Knight in a fight easy-peasy. Roll on Hellboy 3.