Another bloody cold day here in Igloo Land. A bit like the last 99 days now that I think about it. But! It's sooo goddamn cold today that when I tried urinating outside earlier this morning, it froze in mid-air. I kid you not. It's still there actually, suspended about 2 foot off the ground. Quite pretty. For a lump of gravity-defying frozen piss.
But I digress.
THE HAMILTONS (2006)
I found myself smiling and saying “Ahhh, Beautiful.” at the end of this film. The fact that it’s about a family of apparent serial killers might have you thinking, “Hang on, has The Igloo Keeper gone mad?”... but bear with me. I'll explain.
First of all, I am indeed mad. Certified insane by five doctors in fact. All tragically dead now of course.
However, I must repeat - The Hamiltons is a beautiful film. Strangely moving and touching. And best of all, it doesn’t make you feel stupid after you’ve watched it like, oh, every single modern horror film.
And so to the plot. The Hamiltons are a young family who are struggling to cope with the recent loss of their parents.
We have David, the ‘responsible’ one, twins Darlene & Wendell, the ‘bad ones’, and young Francis, the ‘good guy’.
And one other who shall remain nameless for the time being.
A dysfunctional family like many others then. But one with dark, bloody secrets lurking in the basement… like the two hitch-hikers bound and gagged. Like the other bodies strewn all around like... like cattle.
The Hamiltons takes this promising scenario and skillfully avoids becoming a) a dumb gorefest or b) a dumb comedy-horror. Instead it becomes, well, like I said - a strangely moving, beautifully shot and acted piece of film-making. But that’s just my opinion… you really should see for this yourself.
Hmmm, still can’t stop thinking that I’ve forgotten to mention someone…?
Satan's Pawn - Start your week (and month) off with a stabby piece of insanity, it's another tantalizing tale of evil from the March 1954 issue of *Adventures into Darkne...
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